The Beauty of the Hemorrhoids...

You know, I've been in hell for the last couple of days. I've been having hemorrhoids occasionally during the last couple of years, but this Friday, man oh man...
It started like a normal day, but after going to the toilette, I got equipped with a nut size, capital H that hurts like hell!
I guess, this is the price I'm paying for working 12 hours a day in front of the PC...
I called my GP and he gave me some directions. You know that little bullet-size medications that you stick into your ass when things like that happen? Damn, I lost their count. It's funny how easy they slide in...
Hemorrhoids treatment & relief
The GP told me good, but he missed the most important part - that I should push the Hemorrhoid back manually if it doesn't want to do it on his own... And I struggled for 3 days waiting for this to happen. At the end I went to a surgeon, who showed me the truth and rushed me to the ER. There he stuck his hands into that particular place, where the sun doesn't shine and pushed the Big H into the place it is supposed to be...
Of course, H doesn't want to stay there for very long. So, I have to repeat the procedure a couple times a day, in order to show it the right path in life... Well, today I've spent a significant time with my fingers in my arse. At the end I started to nearly enjoy it. Who knows, if this lasts for long, I might turn gay. One thing is for sure - after I get well, I'll have to change my keyboard and mouse with new ones!!! No way that I touch them again :)

What is the conclusion - if you have hemorrhoids, go to a surgeon as fast as you can.
As for me..., I guess I have a bunch of sins in order to have God punish me like that. Yeah, a skinny sinner I am :)))